Our Throuple DESTROYED by a 16-Year Age Gap: What Went Wrong?

My husband and I have always embraced adventure and open-mindedness in our marriage. After nearly a decade together, we decided to explore polyamory, a decision we reached after numerous heartfelt conversations and careful planning. With a grown son from a previous marriage, we were empty nesters, enjoying travel and art, and we felt ready to open our relationship to new possibilities.

The idea of polyamory wasn’t something we jumped into lightly. We spent countless hours discussing our fears, hopes, and expectations, ensuring we were both on the same page. Setting boundaries and rules was a crucial part of this process, helping us build a foundation of trust and understanding. Once we felt secure in our decisions, we began exploring the poly dating scene.

In our journey, we met a woman 16 years younger than us. She was in her late 20s, and we were 45. Despite the age difference, we clicked almost instantly, and a new relationship blossomed. We were thrilled to embark on this adventure, going on dates together as a throuple and individually. We wanted to ensure that each of us had the opportunity to connect, both as a group and on a one-on-one basis.

Initially, we believed that societal acceptance of our ethically nonmonogamous (ENM) relationship would be our biggest challenge. Living in a progressive city, we were pleasantly surprised to find that people around us were supportive. Friends and strangers alike were happy to see us happy, and our unconventional relationship didn’t seem to raise many eyebrows.

As our relationship deepened, I found immense joy in watching my husband and our girlfriend share in the simple pleasures of life, like cooking together. It was also a time of personal growth for me, as I began to fully embrace my bisexuality, something I had long suppressed.

However, it wasn’t long before we encountered significant challenges. One of the most pressing issues was our conflicting schedules. My husband and I both work traditional hours, while our girlfriend worked primarily in the evenings and on weekends. With our responsibilities to elderly parents, household upkeep, and pets, finding time to spend together became increasingly difficult.

Moreover, the 16-year age gap started to show in other ways. Our girlfriend enjoyed late-night outings during the week, while my husband and I were more accustomed to early bedtimes due to our work schedules. The differences in our lifestyles and energy levels became more apparent, leading to tension and frustration.

We were all committed to making the relationship work, but it required sacrifices and adjustments that became harder to manage. Despite our best efforts to communicate openly and address our issues, we couldn’t shake the growing sense of resentment that was building. While we wanted our girlfriend to enjoy her carefree life, we also had to acknowledge our limitations.

Ultimately, we decided to end the throuple. It was a difficult decision, but we recognized that the relationship wasn’t sustainable in its current form. However, we don’t regret our time together. It was a valuable experience that taught us about the complexities of polyamory and the importance of compatibility, both in terms of schedules and lifestyles.

As we move forward, my husband and I remain committed to our journey in polyamory, but we’ve learned that some relationships, no matter how strong the initial connection, may not be destined to last. It’s a lesson in understanding and accepting the natural ebb and flow of relationships, and we’re grateful for the growth and insights we’ve gained along the way.