Marriage Exposed! What My Divorce Taught Me About Love and Business Will Leave You Stunned!

“I got married for the first time when I was 40.” These words from Jeannie Assimos, a vice president at a fintech company, offer a glimpse into a deeply personal journey marked by societal expectations, self-discovery, and a redefined view of relationships. Now 52, Jeannie reflects on how her experiences shaped her perspective on marriage, independence, and love.

A Reluctant Start

For most of her life, Jeannie was resolute—marriage and motherhood weren’t part of her plans. “The idea of being a wife or a mom just didn’t appeal to me,” she says, emphasizing her focus on independence and career. Even in her younger years, when serious relationships surfaced, she brushed off any talk of marriage, preferring the control and autonomy that came with being single.

But by her mid-30s, cracks began to form in her steadfast beliefs. Working as the managing editor at eHarmony, Jeannie found herself surrounded by stories of romance, wedding preparations, and fairy-tale beginnings. The job, coupled with her friends getting married and starting families, sparked a curiosity she hadn’t expected. “It seemed like everyone else was living out a fairy-tale life,” she shares. Slowly, societal pressures crept in, and for the first time, she started to question her stance.

A Decision She Regretted

In 2012, Jeannie took the plunge into marriage. Her then-partner of five years was hesitant, but she pushed forward, believing it was the logical next step. Almost immediately, doubt set in. “I almost instantly realized I had made a big mistake,” she admits. The relationship wasn’t right, and the marriage didn’t fulfill her newfound expectations.

It took four years for her to act on these feelings, and another two years to finalize the divorce. The process was emotionally and financially taxing. “My divorce made me realize just how much marriage is a business transaction,” Jeannie notes. Dissolving the union came at a steep price—thousands of dollars in assets and countless hours of negotiation.

Finding Fulfillment Outside of Marriage

By 2016, Jeannie’s divorce was finalized, and she vowed never to marry again. However, her journey toward contentment didn’t end there. “Ten months after the divorce was finalized, I started casually dating again,” she recalls. While initial encounters lacked depth, they eventually led her to her current partner, with whom she’s been in a committed relationship for five years.

Their partnership thrives without the need for a legal bond. “We feel the same way that marriage is just a legal agreement,” Jeannie explains. Her partner, who has been married three times, agrees that their relationship doesn’t need the formalities of a contract to feel meaningful and secure.

Redefining Security

For Jeannie, marriage never offered the psychological or financial security it does for others. “I didn’t ever see it that way,” she says, adding that even seemingly perfect marriages can unravel. Having built a successful career, Jeannie earns a six-figure income and comfortably supports herself. Financial independence has allowed her to keep her finances separate from her partner’s, a decision she cherishes.

“The only benefit that marriage brought into my life was the tax benefits,” she quips, noting that her single status now costs her an additional 2% in taxes.

A Marriage-Free Life That Works

Despite their decision to forgo marriage, Jeannie and her partner share a life much like any married couple. They live together, co-parent a miniature pinscher named Jonny Cash, and plan for the future. “We just don’t have a legally binding agreement,” she says, emphasizing their mutual respect and shared responsibilities.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, Jeannie sees her short-lived marriage as a lesson in authenticity. “It helped me find a partner who’s a better match for me,” she reflects. While she doesn’t regret her decision, she wishes more people would approach marriage with caution.

“Time reveals all—good and bad—about people,” she advises. For Jeannie, patience and self-awareness have been the keys to finding a fulfilling relationship outside the bounds of tradition.