Slurring, Stumbling, and Still Making the Rules—Congress Like You’ve Never Seen!

Washington, D.C. – Some members of Congress are reportedly in such cognitive decline that they can no longer effectively do their jobs. Others, sources say, have shown up to cast votes while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Rep. Jim Himes (D-Conn.) revealed to Politico that between six and twelve lawmakers appear to be mentally incapable of fulfilling their duties. “There’s no question that somewhere between six and a dozen of my colleagues are at a point where they’re … I think they don’t have the faculties to do their job,” Himes said.

A Republican lawmaker, speaking anonymously, added an even more scathing assessment. “I have a difficult time sometimes telling between the deterioration of members and a handful who are just not very smart.”

Cognitive Decline in Congress

The age and mental fitness of lawmakers have become major concerns, particularly following President Biden’s disastrous re-election campaign collapse, which many attributed to age-related cognitive issues.

Congress is no exception. Some lawmakers, despite significant cognitive decline, have continued serving long past their prime. Former Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California remained in office even after handing over power of attorney to her daughter. Meanwhile, Rep. Kay Granger (R-Texas), once a powerhouse as the chair of the House Appropriations Committee, was found in an assisted living facility last year after mysteriously disappearing for six months.

Rep. Ritchie Torres (D-N.Y.), 36, put it bluntly: “The United States Congress is the world’s most prestigious senior center.”

Lawmakers Voting Under the Influence?

Beyond cognitive concerns, there are also allegations of intoxication on the job. Some lawmakers say late-night votes often see members who are not entirely sober.

“Every time we do an 11 p.m. vote, a minority of the chamber has a zero blood alcohol content. Now, that’s different than voting drunk. I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody demonstrably drunk on the floor,” Himes noted.

Rep. Don Beyer (D-Va.) claimed to have seen at least one Republican who “show[ed] up drunk” several times. He also suspected “one or two Dems” of being high but not intoxicated by alcohol.

Rep. Nicole Malliotakis (R-N.Y.) compared the chaos in Washington to the political satire show Veep. “I would say D.C. is more like Veep. We’ve had a couple of Veep moments in my office.”

Out of Touch with Reality

Despite their struggles, some lawmakers still expect VIP treatment. South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn, one of the most powerful Democrats in Congress, vented about the entitlement culture in Washington.

“I have people who land in the airport here and call me and ask, can I send my car for them. I mean, my first term up here I didn’t even own a car.”

Himes echoed the sentiment, pushing back against the idea that lawmakers live a life of luxury. “Everybody thinks that we fly around on Air Force One and dine at the French embassy every night. But the reality is, I’m eating burritos and McDonald’s more often than I’m dining in any embassies.”

A Congress in Decline

With reports of aging lawmakers clinging to power, declining cognitive abilities, and members possibly casting votes while impaired, concerns over the state of Congress are growing. As America faces pressing issues, from inflation to foreign conflicts, the ability of its leaders to effectively govern is being called into question.

For now, Washington remains a mix of political theater and dysfunction, where the most powerful lawmakers may not be those with the sharpest minds—but simply the ones who refuse to step aside.